The Core Secret Of Interpersonal Relationships: Taking The Other Side As The Center

Many people do not know how to find out when they first contact with people.

Because human nature is concerned with individuals.

If you talk to people about themselves, their families, their jobs, their pastimes and what they care about, they will respect you right away.

Your interest in them is their appreciation.

That will boost their self-esteem, which in turn will make them respect you.

On the contrary, if you talk too much about your own affairs, not your affairs, the situation will be the opposite.

That will tell them that you are not interested in them.

This will reduce their self-esteem and their respect for you.

Therefore, when you talk with people, it is best to ask questions that can lead them to talk about themselves.

I use an acronym, form, to help me remember what questions I should ask.

"F" reminds me to ask questions about their families.

(English word family means family.

For example:

"John, are you married? How old is your child?"

"How is your daughter now?"

"Did your wife like that trip?"

"Has your mother's arthritis been better lately?"

"O" reminds me to ask them about their occupation or work.

(English word occupation means occupation.

For example:

"John, what line of work are you in?"

"How's your work lately?"

"I heard that you have been promoted recently!"

"When did you start working?"

"R" reminds me to ask them what kind of entertainment they like.

(English word recreation meaning entertainment)

For example:

"John, what do you usually like to do after work?"

"Where do you like to go fishing?"

"I heard you are a good golfer."

"What a great sports car! Do you like it?"

"M" reminds me to ask them what money has to do with their dreams.

(English word money means money.

For example:

"I think I have a way to help you get what you always want."

"I know you like traveling very much.

If you are not short of money, do you want to travel to cafe?

"If it no longer needed money, it would be great!"

Sometimes I use m as a message, sometimes not.

I like form in this way, because it gives me some key points that I can't forget easily.

It helps me guide people to talk about themselves.

Because I really want to know about them, I will listen carefully.

Most of us do not get along with others because we are always busy thinking about ourselves and talking about ourselves.

When you begin to shift your attention from yourself to people, you will be amazed at how good you are to get along with others.

As an exercise, in future conversation, you will use fewer and fewer words of "me and me", and more and more words such as "you and you" will be used.

You will find that your skills to get along with others are advancing by leaps and bounds.